I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
