Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
