this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
