Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
