Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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