i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
