I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
