Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
