How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is wine microwaveable?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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