dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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