He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
