Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
