dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
