ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
