This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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