i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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