YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
pray to the hookup gods
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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