I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
last night I used snow as a chaser
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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