id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
