YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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