I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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