I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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