so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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