nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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