Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
