I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
