let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
