We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
