just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
