they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
