I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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