i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
pray to the hookup gods
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
