ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
