No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
