there's paper in my vomit.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
