Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
