im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
