She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
