Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
