You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
