i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
