he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
