im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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