I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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