Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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