So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
