she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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