Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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