but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
