so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
