I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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