all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
