i don't like sucking hair
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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