im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
