You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
