Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize