is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
