am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
