I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize