I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
