If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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