sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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