video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
