you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
