oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
