I am full of burrito and curiosity
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
