I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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