Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize